melissa_blueMy father’s side of the family, the Kittos have a long history of worrying! In the bible there is a quote: “The sins of the fathers are passed on to the next generation”. We all pick up the habits; good and not so good; from our parents. So somewhere along the line I picked up my father’s habit of worrying.

I remember when I moved to the United States, my Dad was concerned about my choices and worried about me a lot. Nearly every night I would wake up about 3 in the morning and have fears and worrying thoughts that I couldn’t shake. Thoughts like “am I doing the right thing? Should I move back to New Zealand? I should go back and get a real job instead of being self-employed? Am I doing something wrong?”

Later I realized that in 3 in the morning US time, was about 7pm New Zealand time. My Dad in New Zealand was worrying more about me at that time of day because he was off work and had more down time to think about it. It wasn’t even me! I was picking up his thoughts from across the globe!

When my father passed away in 2006, I was able to detach myself from the worry that wasn’t even mine, because his energy wasn’t focused on me anymore. It felt like a weight had been lifted from me.

Here’s what I learned from that experience:

1. You are more sensitive than you realize. Many of the fears, worries and negative thoughts you have are not even yours.

2. If you worry about others, you are sending negative energy toward them which could affect how they feel and cause them to doubt themselves.
In an ALC course I took a while back, we were asked to do a special technique. The technique was to go outside and worry for 10 minutes. Do nothing but worry for 10 minutes, we were told.

So we all went outside and practiced worrying. During that time I realized how hard it actually was to worry and what a waste of time it was! Try it for yourself one time and see. It’s pretty interesting!

3. Your thoughts create your reality. If you worry about things you don’t want to happen, you are actually creating that very thing you don’t want with the power of your energy and thoughts.

So if worry is so pointless, why do we do it?

When my father worried about me, he thought he was helping me. His way of showing his love for me was to think about me often and be concerned. He wanted me to be safe and to make good choices for my life. However, what he didn’t realize was that I was moving beyond his state of consciousness and doing things that he had never done.
So to him my choices seemed risky and scary. For me though, they were the right choices for what I had come to do for my life purpose.

So sometimes, you may be worrying about someone or something in your life, because you have true concern and you want to be aware and vigilant. However, this is going to backfire on you! The best way to have true concern for others is to have detachment. To support them and let go enough for them to make their own decisions.

The same is true if you are worrying about events in your life. You need to let go, and trust that the universe will take care of it. The right opportunities will come to you in divine timing.

Let’s say for example you have been laid off from your job and you are worried that you won’t find a new job. Fear of the unknown, (or not knowing how things will work out) makes you start to worry. You worry that your money will run out and you won’t be able to make your mortgage payment and pay your bills. You worry that you are too old/young/fat/thin/inexperienced/overqualified etc etc.

The more that you worry and think about the things you are afraid of, the more energy you are sending toward that! You are actually creating a negative reality for yourself.

When I get gripped in worry, it’s usually worry about the future. When I have an event or course planned that looks like it’s going to get a very low response, or I might have to cancel I used to get really scared!

Now I am practicing letting that go and not ever worrying. Here’s the tips that I’m learning and practicing that you can do too.

4. Say positive affirmations every day.
Pick some short but sweet affirmations that remind you of the real you- with infinite possibilities and abundance. A couple I have been using are:

“I am one with all things. I am unlimited abundance.” I also have a couple that are related to specific goals I have in my life right now. My affirmations always make me feel good. I say them when I first wake up in the morning, and before I go to sleep at night. Anytime I notice that I’m feeling off, scared or unhappy, I say these mental affirmations. It lifts my energy, and it reminds my brain of the positive reality I am creating.

5. Never let an ounce of doubt enter your mind. You have 100% confidence that you will reach your goals.

If you find yourself doubting your future goals- stop immediately! Do whatever you can to truly believe that you will attain the goal. And it will happen.

A few years ago I decided to take my two step children and Richard to New Zealand. Four flights to New Zealand is not cheap, and I had no idea how I would pay for the hotels, sightseeing, car rental and food along the way!

I devised a plan to do workshops on the weekends, and then have plenty of time for fun and sightseeing with the kids Monday to Friday. I had an amazing sense of confidence that this would all work out- I never doubted. One national TV appearance was all the exposure we needed to fill events in 3 cities in New Zealand and have the trip of our lives. We never held back on staying in nice hotels and eating in nice restaurants. We trusted that it was taken care of, and it was!

After I returned home, I began to wonder why I could manifest amazing success on trips to New Zealand but couldn’t do it at home. The only difference was the level of doubt and worry that I was allowing in.

So now I am practicing maintaining a confident vibration at all times. The results are amazing! If you’ve been reading our ezine for a while, you know that I experienced infertility for nearly 3 years before conceiving Liam. Just before I conceived, someone suggested to me that I should accept the fact that becoming a mother was just not on the cards for me. It just didn’t feel right to do that, and I held faithful to my dream. Just a month later I became pregnant.

6. When you notice you are worrying about something, shift your thoughts to the positive outcome that you want.

Nobody’s perfect and from time to time you’ll worry of course. But when you catch yourself doing that think or visualize the positive outcome you desire. Feel as if you are already there and it WILL happen.